Teens Doing Great Things-- Karlee's Prom

Once or maybe a couple of times during their high school career, teenage guys trade their jeans and t-shirts for tuxes and bow ties, and teenage girls get to play dress-up princess for one more night before they enter the realm of adulthood. Prom night--immortalized in in books, TV and movies as the penultimate right of teenage passage, few things are as American as a high school prom.

For a girl battling cancer, prom night seemed like an impossible dream. Then her friends stepped in to make sure she had one night to forget about being sick, one night to feel beautiful, and the memory of one prom to carry with her.

Here's what two teenage boys did to make sure their friend, Karlee had a night to remember, as told by Alana Lerwill, (the photographer who went with them to take pictures), on her blog blog post from June 9, 2009.

A few weeks ago, I had an incredible experience. I got to take pictures for a special Junior Prom. A fantastic young man named Quade asked a sweet girl named Karlee to their Junior Prom. It was to be her first date. She is 16 and is fighting off her 2nd battle with two types of cancer. She has had several tumors removed. As it got closer to prom, she found out she was going to have to be in the hospital undergoing another round of Chemo during the prom. Quade decided he and his friend Chase would go visit Karlee that night in the hospital.

As plans progressed, they decided to take prom to Karlee. They both rented Tuxedos, bought flowers and got their moms to help out with dinner. Karlee's mom got her a wig and a beautiful prom dress. The hospital chipped in and helped out with a nice classroom that they decorated and put a backdrop and the kitchen help even dressed up to serve them dinner.

The doctor gave her a pass so she could leave her hospital room and they were allowed to go across the street to the city park. I came along to take pictures and we were able to do a nice photo shoot both in the hospital and then a bunch of fun pictures at the park. This was an amazing bunch of youth. The boys were so polite and gracious, giving her many compliments and taking such good care of her. They really tried hard to make it a memorable night. Karlee has an amazing strong spirit she is doing all she can to beat this thing. You can really sense what an amazing person she is.

To read the rest of the story and to see more pictures of Karlee's prom go to Photography by Alana.

Thank you to Quade and Chase for doing such a great thing for their friend and than you to Alana Lerwill for her beautiful pictures and for allowing me to share this story.

Guest Review: GIRL OVERBOARD by Justina Chen Headley

It's been a busy week (what week isn't) so I turned today's book review over to my daughter.

She had reviewed GIRL OVERBOARD for her literature class, so I asked her if I could use that review here. (Isn't it nice when your kids can do your work for you?) I bought this book for her after a ski accident left her on crutches for four weeks. Ironically, the book is about a girl who snaps her ACL in a snowboarding accident,and my daughter had it with her at the appointment when we got the MRI results and found out she had the same injury.

I appreciate books that my kids can use to relate to experiences that they're going through, especially when its something that I haven't ever been through. I like to read books with my kids, so I started reading GIRL OVERBOARD, but between trips to the ski hill it somehow got lost.

Before it was lost, I was really enjoying the story and I loved Justina Chen Headley's NORTH OF BEAUTIFUL, (see my blog post, More Than Skin Deep...,) I hope to find and finish the book for myself, until then, you'll have to take my daughter's word for it that this is a great book.

DAUGHTER REVIEW

The book Girl Overboard by Justina Chen Headley is an empowering novel about a girl named Syrah who snaps her ACL when she gets caught in an avalanche while snowboarding. Everyone thinks that Syrah has everything, after all, her dad is Ethan Cheng, the richest man in the world. But really her life sucks. Her (half ) siblings hate her. The only two people in the world that actually understand her the most are being pushed away from her; Age her best friend since kindergarten who originally got her started in snowboarding, and Bao-mu her nanny. Age’s girlfriend Natalie is jealous of their friendship so she doesn’t allow them to hang out with each other very much. And Bao-mu is moving in with her daughter who just had a baby. On top of all that her new friend Lillian has a little sister who has leukemia and needs a bone marrow match if she’s ever going to beat it.

Any one that is “coming to terms” with anything in their life right now will enjoy this book. I can relate to Syrah, because while skiing this winter, I snapped my ACL. Snapping my ACL was and still is really hard on me. I couldn’t walk, open doors, or even carry my own backpack, but worst of all I couldn’t ski or play any sports for that matter. For a lot of people not being able to play sports for a year doesn’t seem like a big deal, but for me it is.

I was able to make a lot of text to self connections, such as how annoying it is that it’s a wound that no one can see. If you’re just walking down the hallway and someone bumps into you, or you step on that leg wrong you shriek in pain and everyone stares at you like you’re some kind of weakling who can’t take a little bump.

GIRL OVERBOARD is a very empowering story about how to come to terms with anything. It’s really cool to see how Syrah’s respect for herself her parents and her siblings grow throughout the story.

Teens Doing Great Things: Catch Them Being Good

I read a blog post about teens this week that bothered me. The author was talking about the "attitude of entitlement" that she sees in teens today. Okay, I have teens, I'm around teens a lot, and I was a teen, so I understand where she's coming from. Yes, there are times when teens act like the world revolves around them. (I remember having that attitude myself.)

But as a kind of rebuttal, I wanted to talk about what I saw teens doing just in the last week.

On Saturday my daughter and a group of her friends participated in a walk to raise money for Cystic Fibrosis because a little girl she babysits has CF. I went to Walmart and saw kids and teens bagging groceries for tips. Another group was frosting and selling cupcakes. All the money they raised was going to Seattle Children's Hospital.

On Sunday, teenage boys from my church visited elderly and infirm members of our congregation who couldn't make it to church, to take them the Sacrament, (an ordinance similar to Catholic Communion).

On Tuesday I dropped my son off for scouts and he was greeted by his den chief, the teenage grandson of one of his den leaders who voluntarily comes to cub scout meetings every week to mentor the younger scouts.

On Wednesday I went to our grade school's annual fun run. My oldest son, now in high school, came along (happily), as a volunteer and he wasn't the only teenage, former student, that was there to help.

Yesterday, I heard from six members of the cast of HAIRSPRAY, all thanking me for the review of their performance that I had put on my blog last Friday.

In deference to Memorial Day, I should also mention that all this week, young men and women are far away from their homes and families, serving their country in many parts of the world.

These are just the few examples I saw going about my day-to-day things. I bet you if you looked around, you would see some too.

I know if I looked for it, I would probably be able to find kids and teens doing bad things, but I prefer to look for the good things that they do. All around us are kids and teens volunteering their time to benefit their families and their communities. I'm envious of the energy and enthusiasm that they have. I'm envious of the spirit of youth who still believe, (and rightly so), that they can change the world. These kids lead out in doing good things because they feel invincible, because they believe they can. (At least until someone tells them they can't or someone tells them that they're bad kids.)

If there is an attitude of entitlement it comes from the adults who don't give kids and teens the opportunity to do what they're good at--shaking thing up. They can shake things up for good, just as easily as they can shake things up for bad.

For the adults out there, I challenge you to look for kids and teens doing great things. Then let me know, I love putting that stuff on my blog!!!

For the teens out there, don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't make the world a better place. If someone labels you a bad kid, or a bad generation, do everything you can to prove them wrong. Keep up the good work.

Book Review: HUSH

I started reading HUSH at about 4:00 this afternoon. I finished reading it at about 2:00 this morning. During that time I had to tear myself away to pick up and drop off kids, make dinner, and help with homework, otherwise I would have finished sooner. HUSH is that compelling of a read.

The story took me to a place and amongst a people that I didn't know existed, a branch of extremely orthodox Jews that live in New York. Although the sect in this book is fictional, it's similar to major Chassidic branches in now living in New York. Their religious practices and culture are still very close to what they were one-hundred to two-hundred years ago, including hats and beards for the men, married women required to keep their hair covered, and marriages arranged by a matchmaker.

The book centers around Gittel, whose narration moves back and forth between her as a nine-year-old girl and then as a teenager and young bride. Gittel witnesses the sexual assault of her best friend, Devory at age nine. In a culture of arranged marriages where sex isn't spoken of at all until weeks before a wedding, Gittel doesn't fully understand what happened to her friend. When she tries to tell the adults around her, she is hushed up and told to forget what she saw. The view of the sect as a whole is that sexual abuse is a goyim, or gentile problem and that those kind of things didn't happen in their community. For Gittel to even witness such an event put her in the position to possibly be "unmarriageable," the worst thing for a girl in that culture to be. Eventually, Devory commits suicide as a result of the sexual abuse she has suffered. In the chapters where Gittel is a young woman she is still consumed by guilt because she couldn't help her friend.

The voice of HUSH is unique. As the story alternated between Gittel as a child and Gittel as young woman, I felt I was reading a middle grade book, a young adult book, and sometimes even a novel written for an adult. Gittel's innocence shown through the whole book, and I could see that in many ways she was stuck back as the nine-year-old child, helpless to save her friend.

As much as HUSH compelled me to keep reading, at times I found it difficult to get through. Besides the myriad of emotions this story brought up, I struggled with many of the Yiddish and Hebrew words and phrases that were spread throughout. The book includes a glossary at the back, but I was so focused on the story that I didn't take the time to look them up as I read. Someone who is more familiar with the culture probably wouldn't have the same problems that I did.

Although critical of the Chassidic sect's handling of abuse, HUSH portrays the culture as warm and caring within itself. Gittel's family relationships are loving, and a huge sense of community and service are built into their everyday lives. However, the Chassidic are shown as highly suspicious and prejudiced towards anyone who is not part of their sect.

MOM REVIEW

This is a hard one. I actually went back and forth about whether I should review this book at all, but it came down to whether I should be like the parents in the book who preferred to pretend that these things don't really exist, or if I should be brave enough to talk about them.

It goes without saying that there is sexual content in this book. The descriptions are written simply and not graphically, and told through the eyes of innocence. The scene where Gittel discovers Devory's body is disturbing.

The author uses the pseudonym, Eishes Chayil, meaning woman of valor, and in the book, Gittel's husband tells her she is a woman of valor because she is protecting the children. I thought about this a lot as I read the book. As a mom, I can't afford to pretend that horrible things don't exist. In order to protect my children and the children I associate with, I must actively combat horrible things, by talking about them openly with my kids. I believe a true, Eishes Chayil, or woman of valor speaks up for children and those who can't speak up for themselves.

I would recommend this book for older teens, 14 and up, because there are some disturbing scenes and situations. Use your discretion on the age, but if/when you chose to let your child read this book, READ IT WITH THEM. This is a good opportunity to talk to your teenager about sexual abuse and let them know that they can come to you if they are ever in a situation that makes them uncomfortable. You have to have this talk over and over again, and this is a book that will help you open up that discussion.

This book is not just for the Chassidic people. Sexual abuse happens to people of all religions, races, cultures, and families. I came from a predominantly Mormon community and I saw the same problem with shame and secrecy happen there. Sexual assault is so horrible a crime, especially when it is perpetrated against children, that it's tempting to pretend that it doesn't exist, but that won't make it go away.

I think the ultimate message of HUSH is that sexual abuse is a crime that thrives on secrecy. Pretending it doesn't exist won't make it go away. Although it is written as fiction, the author says she is telling her own story and the stories of others who were victims of, and silent witnesses of abuse.

HUSH was compelling, interesting, and beautifully written. It was at times difficult, but it is definitely a worthwhile book to read.

* Disclaimer* HUSH was given to me by my editor at Walker Books For Young Readers, so the author and I have the same publisher.

As parents and teens, what other books have you found that open up a discussion on hard, but important issues?

Change the Voices in Your Head

I'm the first one to admit that I hear voices in my head. I admitted it in my very first blog post and I admitted it on my website. Those are the the fun voices--the voices that tell me stories; feed me plot and dialogue, and demand that I write them down. I love listening to these voices, (its so much more fun than say, laundry or dishes).

But there are also not so fun voices. These are the ones that comes directly from the deepest, darkest part of myself; the dungeon of self-doubt, the prison of pessimism, and the guillotine of guilt. These are the voices that surface when I can't seem to hear the other ones, when my story is stagnating, or even when my story is going well, but my house isn't clean, or my kids are feeling neglected, or I had a big slice of ice cream cake for lunch instead of going to the gym. (That was yesterday, honestly, I went to the gym this morning.)

From the DUNGEON OF SELF-DOUBT: You're writing is no good. Why would you spend so much time working on a novel no one is ever going to read? You'll never get this finished. You'll never work through your plotting issues. You just can't make this work. You should start take up knitting.

From the PRISON OF PESSIMISM; So you sold one novel? Big deal. It was a fluke. You'll never sell the another one in this economy. And what about the first one? It hasn't even been published yet. No one's going to buy it. It will be one of those books you see at the dollar store or in the bargain bin at Wal-mart, you'll lose your publisher a ton of money, and no one will ever want to work with you again. You'll be laughed at. The world is going to end soon anyway.

(Okay that last one wasn't really me, I mean, the voices in my head RARELY prophesy the end of the world, and even if they did, I wouldn't go spreading it around, honest I wouldn't.)

And last, but definitely not least (probably most actually) the GUILLOTINE OF GUILT: Why are you writing when your house needs to be cleaned? Why are you neglecting your children/husband/dog/sister/mother? Why don't you get a real job and do something to help out your poor husband who works so hard?

These are just a few of the horrible things I tell myself--things that I would never say to another person, no matter how much I disliked them. (And really I don't dislike very many people.)

Then one day I was riding in the car with my 13-year-old daughter and Pink's song Perfect (the radio version), came on. There's a line in the song that says:

Change the voices in your head,
Make them like you instead.

That line really struck me, so I asked my daughter if she knew what that meant. She said, "You mean like the voices that beat you up every time you do something stupid? Yeah, I do that all the time."

Hearing her say that made me feel terrible, to know at thirteen she beats herself up like I do. Since I'm supposed to be her example, I decided I needed to change the voices in my head, (and make them like me instead).

It's not an easy thing to do, I mean, pessimism, self-doubt, and guilt have been my companions since I was at least thirteen (probably before). They have served me as motivators;"look how tight your jeans are, how could you let yourself get this disgusting?"excuses, "I can't write today, I have to do laundry," and even as a way to keep myself from get over-confident; "so you have a book being published, don't think that will ever happen again." Ultimately though, none of these voices are doing me any good.

I get really mad at my kids for putting each other down. I like to say, "There will be enough people in the world who will put you down, in our house we build each other up." I forget that the same thing applies to me. Maybe I should say that to myself, something like, "There will be enough people who will criticize and put you down, in your head, you should build yourself up." Yes, I know that sounds conceited, but as a mom, I've learned that praise is a much higher motivator than criticism or guilt.

How can I expect my kids to feel good about themselves if their mother doesn't feel good about herself? How can I expect them to follow their dreams if I'm too afraid to follow mine? I don't think it's a coincidence that Pink wrote the song Perfect for her unborn child. Here's another thought, how do I write stories that offer hope and encouragement to struggling teens if all the voices in my head are negative ones?

How do you change the voices in your head? I've been working at it and for me it comes down to a conscience effort. Every time I start on my downward spiral of self abuse, I think of that one line in Perfect and it really helps. It also helps me to think about what I would say to my daughter or son or husband or a friend who made a mistake.

Its okay to be your own cheerleader sometimes. Its okay to acknowledge your own accomplishments, its okay to forgive yourself when you make a mistake. It's okay to follow your dreams and feel good about it.

I'm a person with a firm belief that we are all children of a Heavenly Father, that we were created to do something wonderful and unique that no one else can do, and that we were put on this earth to learn and grow, (even if that means making tons of mistakes). When I think about it that way, it makes it harder to compare myself to others and to beat myself when I do something wrong.

Life is for exploring and learning and moving forward, so be your own best motivator, be nice to yourself, change the voices in your head. And if that doesn't work, watch this video.

Daily Affirmations, (remember, your good enough, your smart enough, and doggonit, people like you!)

How do you combat the negative voices in your head? How do you keep moving forward when you make a mistake?

Teens Doing Great Things--HAIRSPRAY at Timberline High School

What happens when you take a cast of high school students and ask them to put on an iconic musical that is on its surface a comedy, but with an huge underlying message of racial and size prejudice? If you're the drama students at Timberline high school in Lacey, Washington, the answer is something AMAZING.

As soon as the curtain opened on "Good Morning Baltimore" I knew Timberline's performance of HAIRSPRAY was going to be something special. Maybe I should have guessed before that, based on the number of people who were turned away at the door of this sold-out final performance. Lucky for me, I had managed to snag the last two advance seats because my daughter HAD to see this musical.

I'm so glad I got the opportunity to participate in this show as an audience member. I say participate instead of watch on purpose, because this was truly a musical to participate in. The acting, the singing, the music, the costumes, THE HAIR!!! (they literally had wig sponsors for almost the entire cast!), all begged the audience to be part of the performance. In fact, there were several scenes in which the cast was dancing and singing in the aisles and encouraging the audience to join them. There was even one scene where members of the audience were brought on stage to hula hoop.

HAIRSPRAY director Brenda Amburgy says, "....we try and take the audience with us as the curtain is raised."

I could go on and on about the acting and singing. Jacob Hoff was laugh out loud hilarious as Edna Turnblad, the John Travolta character in the movie, (how did he dance in those heels and keep his voice like that through the whole show???).

As Ms. Amburgy put it, "if you don’t have an Edna like we had in Jake Hoff you really set yourself up for less than the best."

Makayla Tillman was sweet and spunky as Tracy, Marissa Jacobsen and Alaina Woolsley were wickedly funny as the Von Tussles, Aubrey Taylor, Symphony Canady, Kayla Bridges, and Jasmine Buhain-Slater literally blew me away as the "Dynamites," (the back up singers), along with other amazing voice talents; Stacey Ejim, as Motormouth Maybelle, Malachi Jones as Seeweed and Madi Slyvester as Penny Pingleton, and Imani Cox as Little Inez.

Every part was cast beautifully from Julian Fajardo (Corny Collins), Sam Kegely, (Link Larkin), Austin Tibbits, (Wilbur Turnblad), Hayley Matson who played Prudy Pingleton, the Jail Matron, and the Gym Teacher, all fabulously well, Joe Cheney who played both Mr. Spritzer and Mr. Pinky, and Trevor Shaw who played the WZZT Cameraman and Sara Roundtry as the WZZT assistant. (Yes, I am mentioning everyone in the cast because they were all that good!)

A play like HAIRSPRAY can't be put on successfully without an army of multi-talented actors.The main cast was supported by an ensemble full of incredible dancers, singers and actors, all of whom did a fabulous job.

Of the entire cast, Ms. Amburgy said, "The kids knew all the songs coming in which helped but to dance, sing and act was the challenge…..they rose to that challenge but like an athlete they had no idea how in shape they had to be.

"Our philosophy is 'Trust me' which I say many times in rehearsals. We put the vision of opening night in their heads and try and keep it there with lots of encouraging words."

Of course such a great performance wouldn't have been possibly without an amazing director either. I'm positive that Brenda Amburgy put days and days into this show, and she gives credit also to a wonderful support system:

"It took many talented people to make this happen and I have been working with the same team for 10 years so we are a well oiled machine. Gwen Barnes is the genius behind the dancing and Terry Shaw makes the vocals and orchestra top notch. I have worked with Rick Wehmeyer for over 25 years, and having him joint the team for wigs (and I mean WIGS), make-up and hair on this show was unbelievable.

The music, the dancing, the sets, the costumes, and the acting all had the feel of a professional musical, but what really shone through in this for me was the heart and message in this performance of HAIRSPRAY. I think that having teenagers put on this show gave it a deeper feeling. The part of the play when Stacey Ejim and the other African-American students sang, "I Know Where I've Been," literally brought tears to my eyes. These were kids singing about an era they never lived through and racial and social prejudices I hope they don't ever have to experience, but behind they put their whole heart and voice as well as their own experiences, their energy, and their hope for the future.

Ms. Amburgy put it this way:

"We also are diverse student population at Timberline and we train many students to be in our shows that otherwise wouldn’t be given the opportunity. Performing in a THS musical is a Rainbow experience…..to quote a line from the detention scene. We are lucky to have students of many colors who walk through our doors during auditions and sometimes I have to go out and ask them to come. Many kids just need to be asked."

I know the camaraderie and friendships that are developed when kids work together to accomplish a goal; whether it be a musical, a sports team, or a club, last long after the goal is accomplished. I believe that kids like the ones in this play have the ability to change the future, through their actions, through their voices, and even through performances like HAIRSPRAY.

Thank you to Ms. Amburgy, her support staff and all of the kids who participated in HAIRSPRAY for putting on what was literally the best musical production I have ever seen by a high school.

I would love to hear more from the participants in HAIRSPRAY. Please leave your comments about what it took to put on this fabulous musical.

Book Review: THE FRIENDSHIP DOLL by Kirby Larson

One of my favorite things about author, Kirby Larson, is her ability to make historical fiction come to life so you feel like you are living in that time period right along with the characters in the book. That's how I felt when I read HATTIE BIG SKY, and Kirby has done it again in her new book, THE FRIENDSHIP DOLL.

THE FRIENDSHIP DOLL begins with the creation of Miss Kanagawa, one of 58 friendship dolls that were sent to the United States in a gesture of friendship from Japan in 1927. Through Miss Kanagawa's eyes we meet four young girls; Bunny, Lois, Willie Mae, and Lucy--each living very different lives during the Great Depression. From Bunny's moral dilemma, to Lois' dreams, to Willie Mae's tragedy, to Lucy's triumph over poverty we get a picture of what life was like, especially for children, during a very difficult time in America's history. Their stories are told in a way that makes all the sights, sounds, and feelings of that time period feel very real.

MOM REVIEW:

This book is written for kids, (okay mainly girls), between the ages of 9-12. It is heart-wrenching and sweet and true to the time period. This is a good book for middle-graders to learn about the realities of the Great Depression, but also to learn about the strength of the people, especially the children, who lived through it. As the character Lucy was told in a letter"What one has to do, one can usually get done."

I would recommend this book to any girl (or boy) who likes reading about American History, or anyone who likes dolls, or anyone who just likes an intriguing, well-told story. In this case, really four intriguing, well-told stories. This would be a good book to read with your child(ren) to help them get a better understanding of what life was like for kids during the Great Depression. It could also open up a discussion about how a positive attitude can make a bad situation better for everyone involved.

I loved reading the historical notes at the end of this book to find out what pieces of this story were real. I love the story of dolls being exchanged between the United States and Japan in a gesture of friendship. Of course, I had to Google "Japanese friendship dolls" so I could see pictures of the actual dolls and find out more about them. You can read about the real friendship dolls and where they are now at this website.

I thoroughly enjoyed THE FRIENDSHIP DOLL. It was a beautiful story sprinkled with historic details, and a positive message throughout. Thank you, Kirby Larson for another wonderful book.


***NOTE: I'm leaving my blurb contest up for the rest of the week, so you can still enter to win THE FRIENDSHIP DOLL, or MY UNFAIR GODMOTHER, or CAYMAN SUMMER.