A blog about the amazing things teenagers do, about writing for teens, books for teens, and occasional forays into my world and the world of publishing.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Getting Back to Me

I have a phrase that runs through my head a lot, usually when I'm thinking about how much I need to lose weight. The phrase is, "I need to get back to me." In my mind "me" is the skinny, healthy 124 pound woman I was 7 years ago, the time when I considered myself to be in the best shape of my life. I ran a lot, and participated in a parallel bar workout three times a week at the gymnastics gym down the road. (An excellent core workout and I wish there was still a place I could do it.)

As I look back on that time I was proud of myself I was in control (of a few things) and I felt good. But there were things missing in that "me." I hadn't started writing for real yet, so I wasn't even close to realizing that dream, I wasn't Primary President, (head of the children's organization in my congregation), I didn't have many of the friends I have now, and most importantly, I didn't have the experience I have now.

In a heartbeat, I would take back the body I had then, but there isn't a chance that I'd trade that for all the experiences I've had in the last seven years.

Today I thought about "getting back to me" as I was doing my run. (On week seven of a twenty-six week marathon training schedule because I AM going to do this). What I realized was, I don't want to get back to the me I was seven years ago, I want to make the me I am now better. I want to be in shape, and in control, and have my writing and my Primary kids, and all the experiences I've had for the last seven years--even the bad ones.

Instead of trying to compete with the person I was back then, I'm moving forward and learning what I need to do to be the best me now.

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